More and more today you hear about the stressors of caregiving.  Developing and following through with your plan will certainly help you cope with stress.  Dr. Richard Carlson says it best when he states, "being dead is bad for business."  Well, being dead is bad business for those for whom we care.  Take time for yourself and do the things you enjoy and respect your health. 

  

How long will you live based on your current lifestyle? Visit www.livingto100.com to find out. 

  

The following are suggested principles from the 

Caregiving in the New Millenium 

on how to decrease stress while caring for a loved one. 

  

  

Autonomy in Decision Making

   

  Autonomy (the right to determine our own destiny) in decision-making is a cherished right for everyone, but can be especially important for a loved one unable to fully control decision affecting the way he/she lives life.  Allowing a loved one control over basic activities such as bathing, eating, sleeping and dressing can increase his/her independence and decrease caregiving -related stress.  Yes, this means sometimes tasks won't be accomplished just as we would see fit.  However, as long as our loved ones are not harmed there's no down side to allowing him/her space and time to participate in his/her care.  Additionally, assisting a loved one by listening and conveying respect in conjunction with expressing empathy and allowing him/her to continue having control over activities he/she is still able to perform is vitally important.  Although, our first instinct may be to intercede in the decision-making process we should allow him/her space and autonomy necessary to flourish. 

  

Being Consistent

  

  I don't know about you, but it is very helpful to me to have someone who is consistent in his/her interactions and dependability. Our loved ones have the potential to be comforted, knowing we will be there to support and care in a consistent and loving manner. This does not mean we will not have good or bad days, what it does mean is we will work in the best interests of those we love.  It also means we will not act one way one day and another way the next, when it comes to caring. Consistency and dependability can be our greatest gifts to reduce feelings of uncertainty and stress.  

  

Finding Outlets for Both you and your Loved One

  

  We can encourage our loved ones to participate in activities separate from ours.  Maintaining an identity outside roles related to caregiving and care-receiving is vitally important to stress reduction for all involved in the caring process.  Our loved ones still want to feel valued and probably have many contributions outside the illness or disability he/she suffers that would be valuable to the family and the community.  There may be day centers, senior centers, or any number of places our loved ones can attend to socialize and maintain a separate identity. We should not force him/her to engage in activities that he/she sees as uncomfortable however, encouragement can go a long way.  The same advice rings true for caregivers, we should look for activities that have nothing to do with providing care.  When we have time to ourselves we can return to the situation with a renewed and refreshed perspective. In turn with renewed perspectives the opportunity exists to decrease stress and increase longevity in caring for a loved one.  

  

Being Flexible

  

  Being flexible can decrease the stress we experience. Adjusting expectations and allowing room for improvement is vitally important to the overall longevity as a caregiver.  Power struggles can result from inflexibility in the rules in addition to the decision making process.  Family members will inevitably have days that are better than others. No matter what the day is like, he/she remains valuable as an individual. Tasks may not be performed the way we would prefer, however, if we are inflexible and try to do everything we will be stressed and so will our loved ones.    

  

Developing a plan

  

  Organizations have the benefit of an entire team of trained staff to assist in providing care.  These organizations also usually develop a plan of care.  Developing a plan of care using the forms provided in our book Caregiving in the New Millenium can assist in giving a visualization of all that is done to assist a loved one. Additionally, a plan may be helpful when asking for help in the areas where needs are identified. Writing down a list of accomplishments offers the opportunity to potentially to feeling better about the care being provided. 

  

  Although, our loved ones may be dependent on us for some things he/she does not have to be dependent for the things he/she can still perform.  We can decrease the stress we experience by maintaining our loved ones autonomy, giving or relinquishing control and allowing our loved ones to make decisions.  In turn we won't have to feel as though we have to make every decision.  No matter what level of disability of our loved ones experience he/she still has abilities.  By not taking on more duties than necessary, our levels of stress have the potential to be decreased.    

  

Thanks again for taking the time and visiting our web site that we created for you.  We salute you in all that you do and please don't hesitate to e-mail us at caregiversupport@aol.com if would like to use our assistance to research your caregiving needs. 

  

Best wishes with your caregiving journey,  

Thank you for visiting,